Raising Our Kids Bilingual: What Works for Us

We should start by saying this: we don’t do things exactly like everyone else. There are a lot of proven methods out there for raising bilingual kids, and we respect them, but at the end of the day we just do what works for us. This is our story, and maybe you’ll find something in it that works for your family too.

Why We Care So Much
For us, language is the most important part of connecting with culture. It opens the door to understanding people more deeply, to communicating with family and friends, and to appreciating traditions in a way you just can’t if you only know English. That’s why we’re raising our kids this way. We want them to have those skills, to be able to connect with their roots in a deeper way.

Everyday Life in Two (and Three) Languages
At home, we use Cantonese and Vietnamese names for everyday objects. Our eldest son is old enough now that we can quiz him, and one of our favorite games is asking him to translate. At first, we were shocked that he even understood what “translate” meant, but now it’s a normal part of our day. The most fun game is making him translate the names of his favorite foods into all the languages before he can have them. (He’s very motivated when it comes to snacks!)

We also speak Cantonese in the home, although English still ends up being the language we use the most. Our younger son isn’t talking much yet, but he’s soaking it all in, and we know his turn will come.

Music as a Teacher
Music has always been a big part of our family. Lee plays guitar and ukulele, and we do singalongs with the kids. On car rides we listen to old Cantonese songs and some of Lee’s favorite Vietnamese music. Music is such a powerful tool for learning, especially tonal languages.

The Hard Parts
The biggest challenge is that the only language we both fluently speak together is English. That means it’s too easy to default back to English when things get busy. Lee has been studying Cantonese and Mandarin, which makes “Chinese-only” days at home possible, but it’s tough to keep it consistent. Honestly, it’s hard to tell your toddler to stop running into traffic in anything but English. The same goes for discipline—sometimes you just want to be sure your child really understands not to bite his little brother.

A Word of Encouragement
If you’re a parent who doesn’t speak your heritage language well (or at all), don’t let that discourage you. Every little bit is worthwhile and precious. Keep trying. Language learning is not just for the perfectly fluent. Your kids will appreciate the effort you’re making. You can learn together, and it becomes a fun bonding experience instead of a chore.

Finding Community
One of the best parts of this journey has been meeting other people on the same path. Since we started making our books, we’ve connected with so many families who share the same mission. There are tons of resources out there: parents sharing their journeys online, bilingual circle times, even bilingual daycares. A lot of our friends are bilingual too, so when we’re all together, there’s always a little Cantonese and Vietnamese mixed in with the English.

Our Favorite Moments
What amazes us the most is watching our son switch languages depending on who he’s talking to. Since he was two, he’s been able to tell which language a person speaks and adjust on his own so he can connect more with them. Moments like that remind us why we’re doing this. It’s not just about words—it’s about connection.

Closing Thoughts
Every family’s journey with language looks a little different, and that’s okay. What matters most is the effort and the love behind it. However you do it, in whatever way works for your home, those little moments add up and make a difference.